So I'm back with a little english talk. Quite a lot of things have changed since the last time I wrote here. I quit my job and now I'm searching for a new one. Hard times 'though make it very difficult to me. Nowadays people are loosing their jobs and it's pretty big task to find a new one, leaving alone a good one. So if you knew about something, let me know immediately ;)

As for relationships, I'm having quite hard time even on this field. I'd say relationships are never easy but sometimes you just feel fed up with people saying and doing still the same stupid things and not understanding you. You can also get a little tired of seeing the same faces all the time and you might think that getting to know some new people would be quite useful. But on the other hand I have a lot of friends already and I don't really think I would need to meet some more. I just need to sort them a bit and spend more time with those I haven't seen a long time. Like my ex-schoolmates from high school. I miss them a lot.

There's couple of questions I'd like to ask if I could have some talk with God or somebody like him. For example: what shall I do? But I think I already know some of the answers and I don't like them very much. I would appreciate to talk to someone who doesn't know me and people around me, so he can give me an unprejudiced opinion. Anyone here?

Hey guys! How're you doing? I'm pretty busy today. Morning seemed to become quite boring but soon I found a lot of things to do and see, it's one o'clock in the morning and I'm still here. My bf was reinstalling my pc, so I need to put everything back to its place so I can actually use it like before :)

How am I? Work sucks, friends are gorgeous, my bf's gorgeous, my new website will soon be done and I hope that my room as well. But it takes a lot of time to actually make these things and I'm still tired of thinking about my not-the-best job and what will happen next. Well, life has never been easy and I guess it will never be. Not like those days when I was child. Hm... Never mind. Still it's fun to live it.

Sorry I don't care about this category as I should but it's kinda what I expected. I've started to spend more time with english talking people or even with czechs talking in english :) And that makes me more wanting to talk than to write. I hope you can understand.

Today I spent nearly whole day at an educational training which wasn't as boring as I expected in the end. After that I took a nice bath, had nice lunch and then went to National Theatre with my boyfriend. To Swan Lake. Very unique version of it, but very nice, I really enjoyed. And you know what? Yesterday I had a bad day, a very bad one actually. Not because of things happening during that day but because of things happening during last three months. And I didn't see any way out. But today? Seems like luck's getting back to me. Welcome, darling, you're very needed in here :) Well, let's see how I can manage things coming up.

Well, now I am dissapointed again. Of course he canceled the meeting. As usually happens. Sad, sad me :(

I am laaazy :P I really should do something right now, like for example my website. But I can't. I don't want to do anything right now. It's spring and that makes me tired all the time. Too bad.

I had a very interesting weekend. Finally something happens in my life and it happens outside and not in front of the computer. I feel happy about that but still it's all about fun and not very much about work. Well, soon it will have to change. I can't wait.

I'm very greatful for having such a good group of friends around me. Friends I can talk to, relax with, get massage from, be hugged by... :) It really makes me feel good and wanted. It's something I haven't had very often during my childhood. So now I'm in paradise of friendship.

Afternoon I'll go out with my friend. There's some business we have to talk about and I'm glad he makes me go outside when there's such a beautiful weather. I don't know why but I don't like going outside all by myself. I like to have a walk with someone, talk or be quiet, whatever, but to be not alone in the sun. I hope he won't tell me an hour before that he can't go anywhere because of something. I don't want to be dissapointed again.

Parents are arguing. Nothing new under the sun but still I'm quite fed up with this. It doesn't matter if the argument has got its point or hasn't. Still it's an argument and I don't like arguments. They both are ill now which makes them even more nervous than usually. At least I'm getting ok. Some cold I don't call an illness. Jeez, I want to go out now, I even want to go shopping, what's wrong with me? :D I mean shopping for food. I hate shopping actually. Or to be correct, I hate shopping in Prague. Too many people, too crowded places, too expensive stuff. Too much pressure (try it on, buy it - quickly or...!). But in England... yeah, there I could shop every weekend. Which is also what we did there. Saturday was a shopping day. I miss that. Primark rules!

Well, no dumplings. I've had spaghetti again. I din't want to but as I opened the fridge and I saw a rest of that sauce in there, I thought it will be better to eat that first. But I'm not enjoying this meal, 'cause I've got fed up with spaghetti long time ago :P I ate it too many times per a week now so I'll better have a spaghetti holiday now.

I don't feel very good now. I got two calls in the morning when I was kinda asleep and I had to pretend I'm awake. People don't care that you went to bed after one o'clock. They just see you sleeping at 11 am and you're the bad one. And everytime I have to do something unpleasant or to think about something unpleasant, I don't feel good. I start to shake, I'm getting quickly from being cold to being very hot, I have a belly-ache and headache and so on. It's like now. The unpleasant thing is to go to the education training and to see some people I don't want to see. And to eat this spaghetti which is not quite the best meal I've ever had. But it might be caused by my bad stomach, not by the meal itself.

Well, this is not interesting story, but now you see, this is what I usually write in my observatory. Not very interesting stories :)

We've got nearly the lunchtime and I don't have an idea - what shall I eat? I think it will be the same as yesterday - filled dumplings with some meat and sour cabbage. It wasn't bad so why not have it again?

Today I'm gonna check my new workplace. I didn't change my job, but the job itself changed a place. We moved from Letná to Vinohrady, which gives me really good feeling, 'cause it's about ten minutes away from my home. That lazy person in me is celebrating. 

There will be no actual work today, I'm going to an education training. Not very interested, really. But it must be. I've already missed one training and I was lucky to not pay the penalty but I had to promise it's never gonna happen again. So I have to go there. But at least I will talk to some people I want to talk to. If only there were more people like them. Many of my colleagues I don't like. Well, we are actually in a competition. Like who's first. Who's more lucky in work.

At least I will see the TV tower again. It's been a long time... since saturday. I think I'm finally getting to know Prague. Every time I think "Oh, I've never been much in this part of a city", I soon get a new job in there or my actual job moves there or I find out some of my friends live or work there... Funny. Well, a lot of things I know about before they happen. I just feel it. I remember someone I haven't seen for a long time and in two days he's calling me or sending me e-mail. And now I know for sure that I'll be cooking my lunch in about five minutes. 'Cause I'm really hungry :D

Let's talk about hugging. I didn't know how necessary it was for me untill I went to England. I lived with a cold girl who thought hugs are something dirty, naughty or I don't know what. Six months with her. It was a tough time for me and many times I felt like I'll die if nobody hugs me. And then I found a friend there who, maybe for first time in my life, gave me a proper hug and I felt actually like hugged. That sounds strange, I know. But the point is that a lot of people are hugging just for the sake of hugging itself - like Hey, we haven't seen each other for a long time, let's hug. There's nothing in it. But when I hug, I'm saying: Here I am for you now and I don't care about whole world in this second. I want you to feel my presence and understand I'm someone who's here for you and whatever you'll need, you can come to me and ask for help. That might be a long thought but really, all of this and even much more (which I can't even describe) is in it when I hug.

And to get to the point, I'm giving this to people I love and I expect the same thing. I need the same thing. I need to be hugged by someone who doesn't think that hugging is silly or it will be silly when someone sees him hugging me for too long time. I say - what the hell is too long time for hugging? I could hug someone for whole da!. It feels good. It's full of understanding, full of feelings like love, friendship and saying: it feels fine to be with you. There's no long time. And it's everything but silly.

At the conclusion - I'd love to have more people around me who like hugging, I mean the real hugging. I think I really want to do that Free Hugs action I talked about long time ago. If you don't know, the thing is to take a big board with the sign "FREE HUGS" and go out with it, to some place where there is a lot of people. Because everyone needs a proper hug sometimes. And it would be just beautiful if people came to us and said: You're giving those free hugs? Can you hug me?

So are there any volunteers for this action? :) Well, if not, at least feel free to hug anytime you feel like hugging. Don't care about people who think is silly. Believe me, when you make them to hug, they will feel better, too, no matter what they say. Let's hug!

So, what actually is in this weblog is mostly the place to write, as I've already said. It's called pozorovatelna (observatory) and I write whatever comes to my mind there.

There are some photos in moje maličkost/sebestředná fotogalerie but you'll find much more someplace else than in this weblog. Like facebook.

Then there is some basic info, which I will now translate to you to know something about me.

friends call me: marry, cherry, martina

I was born:  summer 88

residence: center of prague

look: changing a lot

who I am: someone too complicated to be described in one sentence, but if you want to know something as a starter, I'm an arachnophobic, sometimes I'm too honest, I've got a lot of crazy ideas and I totally need my pc and music for life

what I can: I write some of that poetry, do some music, I know something about CSS, I'm interested in a digital photography, I can make fun of everything and mostly of myself, some people say I'm cute

what I like: music, concerts and their atmosphere, sounds, musical instruments (especially my bass and keyboard), mp3 players, people around music and people who know a lot about music

aside from music: doing what I want to do, saying what I want to say, changing of appearance, having fun, dying and cutting my hair, enjoying animals and nature (especially cats), good food and drink, lolly-pops, incense sticks and candles, furry toys, internet...

what I hate: total silence, hunger, mushrooms, fish, spiders, highs, idiots, savoy cabbage, when something doesn't work as it should, complications, people who hurt animals, too much pink, high shoes, intolerancy, stupid lying...

Then there's a bit of my poetry in autorův šuplík/chvilka poesie and a bit of photos in s foťákem v ruce. Much more is to be found in my deviantart profile.

In the end, there are some pictures I like, some jokes, quotes, my favorite lyrics and stuff like that, but if you want to see or find out more in english, go to my profiles at facebook (I guess you will have to ask for my whole name first), myspace and deviantart.com.

And if you still look for some other way how to contact me, there's a shoutbox at the right side, so feel free to leave a comment. I'll be happy if you'll do that.

Those three kitten are laying upon the floor and sleeping. What's that? Hey, guys, wake up and do something - like for example clean my room. That would be really useful.

I've got actually seven cats right now. First one is Olivie. The oldest one who doesn't like people much and who doesn't like the other cats either. She's glad to be alone and hidden behind the bed or a sofa, simply somewhere she thinks she can't be found.

Olivie (we call her just Olive) had three kittens when she was younger. Merlin, Melisa and Melsie. Merlin is now at my grandmas and he's quite happy there, his sisters live in our house. Melisa is like a pillow. She's the pliable one, she doesn't look for you but you can hold her and cuddle her and she doesn't really protest, usually. Melsie is different. She's skinny and she comes to me often by talking, miaowing, wanting to be touched and played with. But not that much. When you take her to your arms, she starts kicking.

Melsie also had some kitten. We kept one of them, Nestlé. She's the only one ginger, the others are just brindle. Nestlé is similar to her mother, she doesn't like to be taken at all. She's the loudy one, still talking, still crying and wanting you to notice her. And finally, Nestlé had those three kitten laying around me right now. Gorgeous ones. Three little sweets. Three little devils at the same time. I love them, totally. Soon they will go to their new homes and I will miss them. But that's how it works. You've got kitten, you play with them, teach them, have fun and then you get rid of them. Well, to say it nicer, you find a new home for them. It's just that with Melsie, Melisa and Nestlé we failed in that last part. Nevermind.